Tomorrow is Picture Day

I hate taking pictures. It’s why I have avoided social media sites like Instagram for literal years. I would barely go on the site and even when I did, I would just scroll through everyone else’s posts. My hatred of picture taking is more like a weird deep seeded self-loathing thing I do with myself. I always feel like I look awkward and shiny in pictures and I never know what to do with my hands. And yet, with all of those ridiculous emotions, tomorrow is picture day. A whole photo shoot with wardrobe changes and everything for my website. It’s like I have created my own personal hell. But I gotta do it if I want current, halfway decent pictures that aren’t old as dirt. (My previous Twitter profile pic was taken somewhere around 7 years ago). I think I know what I’m wearing and after being natural for like 6 years, I think I’ve finally figured out my hair so I think I’m ready. It’ll be great. Right???

Who am I kidding? I’m a nervous wreck. The only upside here is that the person who will be behind the camera is one of the best people I know and I know she loves me and I know she won’t let me look like a fool so there’s that. All I wanted to do was release an entire piece of art into the world. Now I gotta do the unthinkable and take pictures too. Oh well. If we’re jumping, we might as well do it in the deep end, right!

It’s Really Happening (I think)

After being threatened, cajoled, and I possibly bribed, I am finally going to self-publish this book. For real this time. I legitimately don’t know when I started writing this thing (it has to be at least 5 years ago) but I will finally introduce the world to Reese Hawking, a fierce, independent, brilliant woman who will stop at nothing to protect what she loves. Is Reese me? Perhaps. Will you love her as much as I do? That has yet to be seen. All I can say for certain is that before 2023 is over, I will have released Reese and everything she holds dear into the wild. What happens after that, the Lord only knows. Either way, my debut novel is almost ready for the world. Whether or not I’m ready is whole other story.

Taking a Leap of Faith…or Whatever

At the beginning of 2023, my husband gave me an ultimatum. Publish your book by September or…well, or nothing. I guess it wasn’t so much an ultimatum. More like a request. With force. I had decided a while ago to self publish but after looking into how much money it actually costs to release a book, I kind of put the idea on hold. I kept pushing it off. Saying we couldn’t afford it. Cause I’m cheap. And terrified.

How exactly do artists put their work out into the world on a regular basis and not constantly throw up? I just sent my novel to a copyeditor like two days ago and I’m dying inside. She will be the first person to read it who doesn’t already love me. Meaning, she isn’t obligated to tell me it’s good. What if it sucks? What if she hates it? I mean, I realize I’m not paying her to tell me if it’s good or not but still. I. Am. Dying.

Anyway, I’ve chosen the company I want to use to publish and have taken the first steps to actually doing it. The plan is to use this blog to chronicle my journey from almost throwing up at just the idea of anyone who isn’t related to me reading the book to maybe one day actually holding my book in my hand. So friends, let’s see how this goes…